Dec 6, 2010

No Woman Is an Island

I don't think I've ever formally made the announcement, so for those of you who don't know, two months ago -- September 29, to be exact -- this nanay began getting help from other writers so she could keep her commitments to her clients and still have time to homeschool the kiddies and, er, sleep.

Oh, I remember the days when I tried to be superwoman and do it all myself. I slept every other night just to be able to meet my deadlines. The kids were forbidden to talk to me during work hours, which was from whatever time I woke up to 9 o'clock in the evening.

And then one day, I got sick. The bane of the freelance worker: no work, no pay. And I remembered something I learned from the financial management seminar I had attended:

The true measure of your wealth is not how much money you have in the bank.

The true measure of your wealth is how many days you will survive if you are, for any reason, suddenly unable to work.

I was shocked. If I get sick for one week, or we have another Ondoy and we lose electricity or Internet, our family would starve.

The next day, I posted a call on Facebook and Pinoyexchange for freelance writers. I pay them from my own salary. On the other hand, I am able to accept more work from more new clients.

Does it even out? No, it does not. In fact, one of my writers has a bigger net than I do.

But I am able to sleep now. And the kids can talk to me again. We actually have time to homeschool. Heck, we were able to go on vacation for three days, and the work got done almost as if I were not away at all.

And now, my finances are more in my hands and in God's hands. I sow the seeds, he makes them grow. I don't have to wait for some landowner to think about raising my wages.

Still, it's hard. Finances are tighter than they have ever been. Because now, I am not just responsible for my own pay. Other people are looking to me for theirs.

But God makes a way. And I am learning lessons in humility, which I have been receiving for eight years and still have not learned.

Maybe God is upping the notch a bit. Dear God, can't you just wave your hand and change my heart and turn me into someone humble instead of purging the pride out in this painful way?

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